Turning Point

picture by Jason Burmeister

The Turning Point !!!!!!!!!!!!

I am getting better, no matter how much longer it takes, the changes are happening.

My therapist told me about generalization. That is where each accomplishment I make (like mastering driving on some new scary roads to me)also affects me in other areas. After that I was able to drive on a highway I usually avoid and wait in the emergency room by myself for the doctor - just a nasty ear infection. It seems things are starting to sink in now, I can feel more confidence. I have a very good feeling that I can start taking action.

GOALS:

reach the point where I do not feel lost anymore

keep increasing confidence

lose the confusion and difficulty in concentrating

lose the overwhelmed feelings

take steps toward fixing my financial situation

Every little thing I do counts for something. I have been teaching myself to make rings. I will be looking forward to this being a steady part time income and also have a part time job outside the home. I think that would be good because I don't need to be shut off from the world, I need to be learning to live in it. I have been scared to death to get a job someplace new, what a HUGE thing that will be when I pull off starting a new job or getting back into my old one. HUGE huge !!!!!!!!! What a scardy cat I have been !!!!!!

I am so thankful for the special people in my life right now!! Could it be that I have been getting a little stronger inside everyday just by not giving up and pushing myself no matter what? Everyday is a new chance to accomplish something, anything!! Tomorrow is a beautiful thing.

Dignity

Right now I am going through a stage of being kind of numb, there has been a lot going on.

I stop myself from doing the deep thinking thing sometimes, but I am wondering about the what I have been feeling. I know that I should be very excited about getting my life straightened out, it is happening and that is what I have wanted. I am making more head way learning to manage anxiety than I am with dealing with the depression.
The cool thing is when you know something needs to be sorted out.
I know it has to do with dignity.
My dignity.

This is like doing homework on yourself.

So now I have questions.

I feel like I am cut up into a bunch of puzzle pieces, and am slowly putting it together.

What should I be feeling about myself?

There is still a need to reconnect with that little girl up there in those pictures.

Keep things simple.

My motto.

I love who God made me, I love the beautiful people he has brought into my life. I love the beautiful world he has given us to live in.

Everything's going to be ok !!!

I AM

I Am

thankful

happy

loving every second of sunshine I can get

sad

hopeful

working on my future

accepting

learning

being ok with myself

managing anxiety

getting ready to buckle down

missing Billy