Remembering How it Was Before Life Happened

Here's to having an intelligent conversation with yourself ! ! ! At the moment I am very amused at the whole idea of doing this blogging!! I could really get to like this. Thoughts on my mind today? I wonder if my kids even know who I really am. I think who we really are is how we were about the time we graduated from high school. Read THAT again just in case it didn't make any sense the first time ! ! Last year when things were really bad and I thought I was losing my mind and the depression was really bad, I started feeling very compelled to go back to Malvern (the town I grew up in) to be able to walk around and really feel the place. It had something to do with reconnecting with myself and the way I was before life happened. We moved away the summer I graduated and everything has been pretty bizarre since!! My theory is that I am not disturbed, just terribly effected ! I'm thinking thats fixable. I did get back to Malvern but there was a craft fair going on so it wasn't the calm kind of time I was looking for. It did help, but I still feel I need to go back again. That is going on my to do list ! Advice to my kids? Don't allow anything or anyone to change who they really are.

FIXING MARLENE

OK! I've just had a few rough days, but I'm back! I have always been grateful and amazed at the strength that has come out of me over the years. I've always referred to it as my fight. I don't like feeling fragile or delicate inside. The road block that I mentioned in my header is that I now once and for all have to beat the good old anxiety and depression thing!! The problem is that over the past few months I feel like I have been losing my fight, BUT something inside of me keeps reaching out, that is how this blogging started. This really is going to be quite a trip, so think good thoughts for me, say a prayer for me or just leave me a comment on something I post. I need to know that I am not alone!! The people who end up mattering most in life are the ones who believe in you as a person, they are what I call: JEWELS IN MY TREASURE CHEST ! ! A BIG thank you for the comments I have received so far , they meant a lot to me!!
I am on my way !!!!!!!

Plant Something ! ! !

If you want to do something good for yourself, plant something. ANYTHING !!!!! And don't wear gloves!! Get your hands dirty in God's good earth!! I think it is a direct connection between your soul and life, that is why it can lift your spirits so much. It is your own accomplishment, something you can nurture, coming away from yourself and problems or worries. Plant flowers, with beautiful colors and sweet smells. Plan out gardens that would be blooming from early spring all through fall. 2 years ago I had a tomato plant I grew in a pot on the porch. They were the best sweet tasting tomatoes I ever had in my life!! It is so much fun watching them grow and waiting anxiously for them to turn from green to red. And what a fun thing to share with a child or grandchild. You can have a nice fresh supply of tomatoes, peppers, and carrots very easily. The most amazing thing to me is planting a tree. I love trees! I climbed every one I possibly could when I was little. I think it is so dear to plant a tree in memory of someone. If I had a big yard I would plant a weeping willow, a beautiful mimosa tree, a blue spruce, dogwood, wisteria, an apple tree, a Japanese split leaf maple, a mulberry tree and a weeping cherry tree. Picture that! Anyone can do it , it is easy. Even if it is a houseplant, there are many that can survive any torturous thing you can do to them. Spider plants are perfect for beginners, they are a perfect pass along plant! When they make babies, you can pick them off and give them to family or friends. Then when theirs gets big and has babies , they can do it too! Something special to pass on with love! Now go ahead and plant something and see for yourself, you will love it !!!

day 2

If you want to see somebody struggle with a simple thing like uploading a photo, I'm your girl.

I did it!!!!!!!!!! This is a picture I found on the web. It reminded me of my mother. She grew some sunflowers that were about 6 feet tall. I miss her!!! I should say I miss seeing her, she is always with me. God bless her!

what am i doing?

I don't even know how to use a computer really well, but I've got to give this a try! It took me so long to get this far with starting that now it is time for bed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Till tomorrow then!